One of the most important anchors for people with mental illness is that we can be sure we can rely on professional help. Generally, we can be sure that if our illness strikes again, we should be able to see the therapist or the psychiatrist. We should feel that they would show interest and try to help us.
However, I would like to share my experience from 4 years ago. In one of my previous posts, I told my story, when I almost lost my life. I’m suffering from depression and anxiety for many years, and that autumn 2017, I was going through pretty tough times. I experienced a series of disappointments and betrayals from people I thought I could trust. I don’t want to go into details; I just want to say my mental state was terrible. I was like walking in darkness. I attempted to end everything and I ended up in a hospital in ICU, four days in a coma. What I want to share here is the approach of hospital staff. And I would like to ask you to give me your opinion about this. You can share it in the comments below this post or just message me.
I made a short video portraying the true cases of fatal child abuse. The video is possibly triggering, because it depicts severe abuse so if you think you can be triggered by it, please rather don’t watch. The purpose of the video is to portray the suffering many children must endure and move the public to speak up and take a firm stand against any form of child abuse. Let’s not stay silent!
The presentation in PowerPoint can be downloaded here. Slide Sources is clickable so you can open the websites I used as sources for this presentation.
I came across this post on Twitter, and I would like to share it here.
This is very true, many abusers are actually protected by being well-established in society. Simply, people around them can’t believe that “this good person” could do something bad.
I experienced this approach personally several times. I can’t specify the details, but it happened and not once.
I would like to tell those who have the authority to deal with abusers, this: please, when someone approaches you and tells you about something bad happening to them, listen. Opening up about abuse and especially pointing fingers at the specific person, in addition, respectable in society, takes a lot of courage. Trust me. If you simply say, “that can’t be true,” or “well, you are the only one saying this, nobody else complains,” you will just help the abusers to cover their actions. If you say “you know that this is a serious accusation, you can bear consequences if this is not true,” I may surprise you: yes, the person who approaches you knows it very well. And, I will repeat, it takes a lot of courage to come and say it. No normal person wakes up in the morning and says: “what would I do today? Oh, I know, I can accuse somebody of abusing me.” No, it doesn’t work like that. Those rare cases of false accusations are not an excuse to ignore the victim or to threaten with some “consequences.”
So, to conclude: if you have resources to help, please do it. If you don’t have, you can refer the person who is confiding to you to someone who can. But, please, don’t ignore, or downplay what you were being said.
Child abuse survivors often need to struggle with a dilemma of how to handle issues from their childhood. One side of the story is how things “should” be; another one is how they are. Many child abuse survivors have deeply embedded in their minds that they must look perfect, that their family must look perfect. This lie they needed to perform can become by time so deep in their minds they start to believe in it. Even when they are adults and far away from all those bad things, they may find it difficult to face them. True, it is easier to live when we try to suppress the truth and pretend that things were not so bad. But sooner or later, the suppressed trauma can burst out.
I came across an excellent short movie, dealing exactly with such conflict. I share it here.
She was a shy, quiet girl. Her classmates didn’t know so much about her, because she didn’t like to talk about herself. Her neighbors didn’t know her well, too. If they greeted her, she mostly didn’t greet back. It was not because she wanted to ignore them or to be rude. She was just scared.
Her name was Jeanette Marie Maples. She loved to read and she loved school. Actually, she was two times awarded for perfect attendance. But then, one day, she stopped coming to school. Her mother decided Jeanette would be homeschooled.
(Maybe you want to know, why I write about her. Well, if you read the first paragraph of this post, and replace “she” with “he” you would read about me. When I read about her case for the first time several years ago, I could really relate to her personality, because I was like that at her age. Shy, withdrawn, and too scared to say anything. And I was really hit by what happened to her. There is no excuse for anybody who failed to do something to help her. The authorities were notified, but they failed to act.
They call it dreaming, and say it’s wrong. That it is a world that doesn’t exist, and they wouldn’t go there. I call it freedom, Because there are no lies, and no injustice. It is a peaceful world, which they cannot enter.
Probably the most repeated words when we talk to someone who feels down is to encourage them to think positive, to see the brighter side of the problem. Focusing on positive aspects of our lives is indeed good. It gives us the energy to move forward and to cope with anything that puts us down. But can positivity become toxic? I mean, can constant dwell on “being positive” be actually harmful? And what should we avoid if we want to be approachable and be true support for our friends or family?
I came upon the article discussing this aspect of constant positivity. You can find it on the below link.
A quote from the article: “Simply being with your loved one is the kindest act of compassion.”